On Being Liberal

This is not a manifesto. Liberals will do that: We will tell you what we are not about. This is just some random thoughts on being a small l.

I have to share the same label as Susan Sarandon, Rob Lowe, Michael Moore, and other "celebrities." Heavy sigh. As my friend Linda used to say: "We need people out on the left and people out on the right to shove everyone into the middle." I just wish they weren't such idiots outside their professions.

My left includes Senator Ted Kennedy, who, in spite of all the jokes, gets it about our responsibility to our soldiers who are dying doing our bidding. He goes to funerals of soldiers from his state. No press, no aides, no photo ops. He just supports the grieving families. Certain Texans should do the same.

Real liberals listen to a wide variety of radio programs. Redneck radio as well as NPR should be on the presets, NPR on the left buttons, Johnboy and Billy on the right. We DON'T listen to Rush.

Real liberals read Anna Quindlen and George Will. We read Mark Steyn and Johnathan Alder. We weigh the words and thoughts and come to decisions: Anna Quindlen is always right, and George Will can argue an umpire into changing his call. Mark Steyn is always entertaining and Jonathan Alder is always well researched.

Real liberals never use positive, declarative statements such as this one, or all the statements in the previous paragraph. We couch things in relative statements. Neither positive nor negative be.

Real liberals never claim to know what real conservatives are about. We just know them when we see them.

Real liberals participate in the great democratic experiment far more than conservatives. Registration records, voting records, all support this claim. If you call Democrats liberals, and some of us do (reluctantly), we out participate the right field by a wide margin. We just cannot agree on anything substantial to get anything done. But we in the left field are a presence that cannot be ignored.

Real liberals raise their children to think for themselves. That's why this liberal, un-reconstructed hippie, has offspring that are: One liberal working for big-time capitalists; one small-time capitalist who cannot be labeled, but has guns, votes, thinks farm subsidies are part of the communist conspiracy, and loves his dogs and cats; one former educator who thinks being a chef or policeman would be cool.

Real liberals are comfortable working in committees. I guess that's why we make lousy managers, administrators, dictators. Jimmy Carter was the archetypical liberal administrator. He said he'd never lie to us, and he didn't, and that greatly hampered his effectiveness.

Real liberals don't seek the limelight. That's why no one takes all those celeb/one day fasting/photo oping/ dough heads seriously. We work quietly to arrange protests, poor peoples' marches and sit-ins, and let the Pros speak.

Real liberals don't write blogs.