Saturday, September 30, 2006

Absurdities and Other Non-Essentials

Have you ever noticed that the store clerks at BP gas and convenience stores are called ambassadors? My American Heritage Dictionary, fourth edition, defines ambassador as: "A diplomat of the highest rank, accredited as representative in residence by one government to another." "from the latin: ambactus, servant." There is no second meaning. It is absurd to call a clerk an ambassador. Perhaps they should be called servants which is more accurate and more properly describes the services they provide. Or perhaps these clerks are/were accredited diplomats of the highest rank and are just moonlighting. It can't be easy being a servant to the present administration. It's just absurd.

This morning I got another e-mail chain letter. Don't sent me any. The chain gets broken here. I don't care how wise, pathetic, cute, patriotic, religious, well-meaning, mean-spirited, sappy, (I'm running out of adjectives), you think your letter is: don't send it to me. Send me a personal note with similar sentiments, and I will be sure to respond to you. I send out e-mails all the time. Some are just letters; some are things people have sent me that I will forward if they are funny, cute, entertaining, etc. Chain letters do not get fowarded.

Hunters: Ya'all need to take better aim this deer season. Thin out that herd. I have seen more dead deer on our rural and not so rural roads this year than I ever have in the eleven years we have been here. We have had deer feeding on windfall apples that fell on our driveway. I am not a hunter because I wouldn't eat what I killed. I don't like wild game. I fish. If its big enough and edible, I take it home to eat. I know the hunters around here eat their kill, or give it to others to eat. OK by me. Just shoot straighter.

Athletes: Just 'cause a sports reporter shoves a mike in your face, doesn't mean that you have to speak. Let your performance on the field speak for you. Remember the old saying: "It's best to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are idiot, than to open it and remove all doubt."

Politicians: Read the above paragraph.

Just when I thought some of these people were dead, they show up with new CDs. Jerry Lee Lewis has a new one called Last Man Standing. He records all kinds of stuff with all kinds of artists. From the little I've previewed, Killer is Back! Ray Charles has an album of his songs recorded with Count Basie. Sam Moore recorded a new CD with guests and a smashing blues band. Sigh. Too much music, too little time.

Oxymorons: Tolerant Religious Fundamentalists. White House Candor.
Contemporary History.

Muse! Where the hell are you? I am floundering here in a sea of banalities and cliches. But, I'll motor on until even I cannot stand this journal. Wake up, Muse. I don't need breathtakingly original thoughts. just a few that really, really don't suck, OK?

BRB is Write(missing the Muse, soldiering on)


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